Chapter 10 - Virginia's Letter
The letter wasn't an excuse.
That surprised me.
Virginia wrote about becoming a mother at twenty-four and slowly making motherhood the center of her identity.
She wrote about Justin leaving for college.
His first apartment.
His engagement.
Our wedding.
Each milestone had made her proud.
Each had also made her feel less necessary.
She knew those feelings were hers to manage.
She hadn't managed them.
Instead, she'd converted fear into criticism.
If she could prove I wasn't caring for Justin correctly, perhaps there would still be a place only she could fill.
I read one sentence twice.
I treated your independence as evidence that you didn't love him enough because I had confused being needed with being loved.
That sentence hurt.
Because I understood it.
Not agreed with it.
Understood it.
Virginia ended the letter by saying she didn't expect instant forgiveness.
She simply wanted me to know she finally recognized the difference between being Justin's mother and trying to remain the most important woman in his adult life.
I handed the letter to Justin.
He read it silently.
Then cried.
A month later, Virginia returned for her procedure.
This time she and Walter booked a hotel.
"You can stay here," I told them.
Virginia shook her head.
"We'll come for dinner. We'll spend time together. But I think your home needs to remain your home."
Progress.
After the procedure, she recovered quickly.
Our relationship settled into something new.
Not mother and daughter.
Not best friends.
Something more honest.
Two women who had hurt each other, confronted it, and chosen to try again.
Then Thanksgiving approached.
Virginia called.
"I'd like everyone at our house."
I hesitated.
She heard it.
"I promise not to grade your cooking."
"I'm not cooking."
"What?"
"I'm coming as a guest."
A pause.
Then Virginia laughed.
"Fair enough."
Thanksgiving would become our first real test outside my apartment.
Because boundaries were easy to respect when everyone remembered the disaster.
May you like
The question was what happened months later, when old habits started feeling comfortable again.
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